December 09, 2011

Are You Fucking Kidding Me?

So after the miraculous and totally unexpected ovulation last cycle, I felt like we had finally made progress and found the silver bullet. I pulled out all the stops and did everything right this cycle - allowing myself to be hopeful, think positive, and dream about getting a BFP for Christmas.

Why do I even bother?

My progesterone test came back yesterday: 0.2

I was already feeling doubt before then, but that was after I made sure I had done everything right including taking my metformin every day, taking tussin for CM, drinking lots of water, and having sex exactly on schedule even when I was tired and sick!

How fun to learn that all that hard work was a complete waste of time because I had as much of a chance to get pregnant as a 10 year old. I'm so angry and frustrated. Fertility Friend refuses to take away my cross-hairs on my chart which makes me even madder. I'm giving it another day or two to see what my temps do, but I'm planning on starting progesterone pills on Sunday. No point waiting around forever to see if my body will eventually get with the program. The only thing I can figure is either a.) I'm clomid resistant, or b.) Getting sick right around ovulation time screwed everything up. And there's nothing I can do about either of those situations. I'm so tired of hating my body...

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