March 05, 2015

I Calmed Down, I Promise

I feel bad for leaving up such an angry post for so long with no follow up. I always have a very strong initial reaction to change (whether good or bad) and I always calm down and move on, even if it isn't obvious in my blog posts ::knowing smile::

The car situation actually worked our really well - the best it possibly could. We made a smaller down-payment than we had planned at first, and that meant we didn't have to "steal" money from the pursuit of our future baby. We also got an AMAZING interest rate on our loan (thank you, Daddy, for teaching me about managing my money). So our monthly payments are within our comfort zone. Saving will be slowed, but it's not the end of the world.

God had to get in an extra little dig about me not trusting Him, though. My mother-in-law has committed to helping us save for the adoption expenses by using some of her inheritance from her aunt. Her aunt was more of a second mother for her (especially after her mother passed away), and MIL took care of her aunt for years after she developed Alzheimer's. She was the most devoted niece I know of and has well earned her inheritance. I told her she didn't have to give us one red cent, but she is very certain this is what she wants. See how I really need to learn to just trust in God's plan?

We still have a lot of saving to do, this process is just so darn expensive. But I'm so grateful that the necessity of a new car wasn't the huge, devastating set-back I worried it might be. We are so incredibly blessed through our family and friends who are being just amazingly supportive. I could never put in words how lucky and thankful I am.

Also - Adoption classes have started! And we need to finish our paperwork STAT! So much to do before we can be approved as prospective adoptive parents, but nothing is scaring me as much as "The Profile". You know, the self-designed, autobiographical scrap book that all agencies show to their expectant mothers? Like, no pressure or anything, just sell yourselves as parents! O.O I am completely terrified of this project. And we can't be presented to expectant mothers without it...

Anyone have advice for how to get through it without editing, re-editing, re-re-editing, starting over from scratch, and generally making myself insane?